Christmas 2009 will definitely be a Christmas that I will remember for the rest of my life. All because of three little words, “I love you”. Those three words coming from that sweet little boy made time stand still and in those few seconds, God showed me what was possible. I had been staring down a long dark tunnel full of uncertainty and a million questions, and a light broke through.
At the time of my oldest sons Autism diagnosis, he only knew a hand full of words. He would say, mommy, daddy and a few family members names and that was it. We were faced with a lot of unanswered questions about how his life would be in the long run. Ultimately we were told we had to wait and see.
My son was four years old that Christmas. At that time he would hit a lot. Mainly it was to get your attention so we could start playing charades to try and figure out what he wanted. We were watching a Christmas cartoon. He whirled around from in front of the T.V and ran to me. He placed his little hands on my cheeks, I was half expecting him to clap his hands on my face next. That’s not what happened. Those little hands held my face firmly, he looked me square in the eye with his pretty blue eyes and said “I love you”, kissed me and ran off. I sat in shock at first because I couldn’t believe he just said that, he had never spoken a sentence before in his life. Also, I had waited four years to hear that sweet little boy say he loves me and it finally happened.
I will never forget that day. I got a Christmas miracle. I saw for the first time in a long time, hope. I still didn’t know what his life would be like but I knew it was up to me to fight for him every step of the way and to be his voice. There was a little boy who loved me and depended on me to never give up hope, to see the impossible and make that a reality for him.
Here we are ten Christmases later and I can hear him in the other room talking about something on his IPad. He talks to us about all kinds of things now. If you would have asked me then what I thought his life would be like now, I wouldn’t have been able to give you an answer. We have taken the last ten years one day at a time. There have been good days, bad days and in-between days. We’ve never stopped believing in him and we’ve never stopped praying for him. For the rest of his life, we will take it one day at a time.
Deuteronomy 31:8 says “And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
Take comfort in knowing that whatever your situation is, the Lord has gone before you and he is there in the midst of it with you. Even when the tunnel is dark, the Holy Spirit is still there with you.
My prayer for you this Christmas is that if you are staring down that long dark tunnel, please know you are not alone. It doesn’t matter what it is, even if it’s a bunch of little things. We can find hope in Jesus. I pray that you find that hope in Jesus and that you never lose it. Have a Merry Chrismas and Happy New Year.